Skip to main contentA logo with &quat;the muse&quat; in dark blue text.

Why Is it So Hard for You to Say "Thank You" When You Get a Compliment?

Updated 6/19/2020
people high fiving
Westend61/Getty Images
It's tough to tell someone "thank you" when they give you a compliment without having an excuse to go with it. But, you'll look much more confident if you don't.

While most of us are proud of ourselves when we do something awesome, we’re not so great at sharing that excitement with others.

Because who wants to come across as egotistical or cocky?

Certainly not I.

But we also know that there’s nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments.

So I have a challenge for you this week (or month, if you’re feeling ballsy), inspired by Feminist Fight Club’s recent newsletter: Try accepting a compliment without explaining yourself.

How so? As the newsletter describes, this means not adding on a “It wasn’t a big deal” or “I didn’t do it alone” or any other excuse after saying “Thank you.” Just say thanks and leave it at that.

Take this common exchange as an example:

Your co-worker says: “Nice job on that presentation today!”
What you’d normally say: “Thanks, but it was really a team effort.”
What you should say: “Thanks!”

I know, this sounds hard—we all want to give the impression that we’re modest team players just checking things off our to-do list for the good of the world. But as Feminist Fight Club points out, this is an important way to practice self-care. And that’s because studies show that accepting compliments helps to boost your self-confidence and performance.

Who knew feeling better about yourself and getting ahead at work was as simple as saying, “Thank you”?

Science aside, don’t you want (and deserve) to get credit for all your hard work and effort? The more you brush it off as “nothing,” the more you give away your own worth.

Don’t do that! Stand proud when you did a good job. And pass the good feelings along by recognizing others who do the same.

If we all took more ownership of our achievements and supported each other’s strengths, the workplace would be a much more enjoyable and uplifting place to be.

So, if you liked this article, thank me on Twitter. I’ll be the first to accept my own challenge.


Photo of Alyse Maguire

Previously an editor for The Muse, Alyse is proud to prove that yes, English majors can change the world. She’s written almost 500 articles for The Muse on anything from productivity tips to cover letters to bad bosses to cool career changers, many of which have been featured in Fast Company, Forbes, Inc., CNBC's Make It, USA Today College, Lifehacker, Mashable, and more. In addition to being an avid writer and reader, Alyse loves to dance, both professionally and while waiting for the subway. You can follow her work on her website, Twitter, or LinkedIn.

MORE FROM ALYSE MAGUIRE
Why Is it So Hard for You to Say "Thank You" When You Get a Compliment? | The Muse | The Muse