You have big goals and even bigger potential, but something feels off. Projects stall, opportunities slip away, or you hold yourself back just when things are going well. Sound familiar? You might be unknowingly sabotaging your own success.
Self-sabotage is sneaky. It hides behind procrastination, perfectionism, or even the fear of making the leap into something better. But here’s the good news: Recognizing it is the first step to stopping it.
Curious about why it happens and how to break free from this cycle? Let’s unpack the meaning of self-sabotage, the signs to watch for, and how you can reclaim control of your career—and your life.
What is self-sabotaging?
When your own actions or mindset interfere with your goals, you might be self-sabotaging. It can look like procrastinating on important tasks, doubting your abilities despite evidence to the contrary, or avoiding opportunities because they feel intimidating.
While some self-sabotaging behaviors may seem minor, they can escalate into significant consequences. For example, consider someone who consistently avoids speaking up in meetings out of fear of judgment. Over time, this behavior could lead to being overlooked for promotions or key projects, ultimately stalling their career growth.
This paradox highlights the complexity of self-sabotaging behavior. “The fear of failure can prevent you from even trying,” says Dr. Noah Kass, a licensed psychotherapist. “These behaviors are certainly not a recipe for career success.”
Why do people self-sabotage?
People don’t self-sabotage intentionally; it’s often a reaction to deeper fears or ingrained habits. Low self-esteem, fear of failure, or even fear of success can make growth feel daunting. Staying in your comfort zone might seem safer than taking risks, but it ultimately holds you back.
Self-sabotage behaviors can also stem from unresolved trauma. “Emotional wounds can make the professional spotlight threatening,” Dr. Kass says. “Lowering expectations can feel safer than challenging negative self-perceptions, leaving you stuck in fear shaped by past beliefs from family or society.”
Signs you might be self-sabotaging your career
Self-sabotage isn’t always obvious. It often hides in subtle behaviors or thought patterns that feel normal but quietly undermine your professional growth. These actions can limit opportunities, stall progress, and create unnecessary obstacles in your career. Here are some signs to watch for:
- Turning down opportunities: You avoid promotions, new roles, or networking events because you feel unqualified or fear stepping out of your comfort zone.
- Missing deadlines or procrastinating: You delay important tasks, which can hurt your reputation and derail projects.
- Overcommitting: You take on more responsibilities than you can handle, leading to burnout and underperformance.
- Avoiding feedback: You ignore constructive criticism from managers or colleagues, seeing it as a threat rather than a chance to improve.
- Sabotaging workplace relationships: You create unnecessary tension, avoid collaboration, or distance yourself from mentors who could help you grow.
- Downplaying achievements: You brush off your accomplishments, which can affect both your confidence and how others view your capabilities.
- Perfectionism: You obsess over minor details, causing delays and missing deadlines, or avoid completing tasks altogether out of fear of imperfection.
- Fear of visibility: You stay quiet in meetings, avoid leadership roles, or hesitate to present your ideas because you fear being judged.
The hidden cost of self-sabotage
Self-sabotage doesn’t just interfere with your goals—it can also impact your mental health. Behaviors like procrastination, perfectionism, or avoiding opportunities often increase stress, anxiety, and frustration. Over time, these patterns can lower self-esteem and create a sense of being “stuck,” further reinforcing the cycle. Recognizing the psychological toll of self-sabotage can shed light on how it affects both your emotional well-being and professional growth, inspiring meaningful change.
How to stop self-sabotaging yourself
Overcoming self-sabotage in your career begins with understanding your patterns and making intentional changes. We’re not saying it’s easy—like any habit, it takes time, effort, and consistency to create and sustain healthier behaviors.
1. Identify your triggers
Think about moments when you’ve held yourself back at work. Do you procrastinate before presentations? Avoid leadership roles because they feel intimidating? Recognizing these patterns is like finding the key to the lock—you can’t fix what you don’t see.
2. Challenge negative thoughts
Your inner critic doesn’t have to run the show. When that voice says, “You’re not good enough,” respond with, “I’m capable, and I’ll figure it out.” Shifting your mindset from self-doubt to self-belief can make all the difference. “It’s hard to build relationships that lead to promotions if people think they can’t trust or rely on you,” Dr. Kass says.
3. Set realistic professional goals
Aiming for a promotion or switching careers? Break it into smaller steps. Update your resume, apply for one new position a week, or attend a networking event. Celebrate each milestone—it’s fuel for your confidence.
4. Practice self-compassion
Everyone makes mistakes, even the best in the business. Instead of beating yourself up, ask: “What did I learn?” Treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer a close friend.
5. Create accountability
Whether it’s a mentor, a colleague, or a friend, sharing your goals with someone you trust adds accountability and support. A quick “How’s that project coming along?” can be the nudge you need to stay focused.
6. Focus on action
Don’t wait for the stars to align or for confidence to magically appear. Start messy if you have to—send the email, share your idea in the meeting, or say yes to the new opportunity. Actions build momentum. Speaking up in a meeting or applying for a big role might feel scary, but those uncomfortable moments are often where the magic happens. Start with small risks and work your way up.
7. Seek professional guidance
Sometimes, self-sabotage has deeper roots. A therapist can help you uncover and address the fears or habits holding you back. “They can help you challenge limiting beliefs, manage emotions tied to success, and examine patterns that hinder your growth,” Dr. Kass says. Plus, therapists can guide you in setting realistic goals and addressing unresolved emotional wounds that impact your professional identity.
8. Prioritize self-care
“If you don’t take care of yourself outside of work, you will not take care of yourself at work,” Dr. Kass says. Whether it’s setting boundaries, getting enough rest, or finding time to recharge, prioritizing self-care can help you approach your goals with clarity and focus.
Read this next: 4 Small Ways Anyone Can Practice Self-Care on a Regular Basis
What’s holding you back? It might be you
The hardest barriers to overcome are often the ones we set for ourselves. Self-sabotaging behaviors, like procrastination or doubting your abilities, may feel deeply ingrained, but they’re not unchangeable. The first step is recognizing how these patterns—whether rooted in fear, doubt, or habit—are interfering with your career and personal growth.
Change doesn’t require grand gestures. It starts with small, consistent actions: addressing the fears that drive self-sabotaging habits, breaking down your goals into manageable steps, and seeking support when you need it. If these behaviors feel overwhelming, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or coach who can provide strategies and guidance.
Progress doesn’t mean perfection—it means showing up for yourself and taking that first step toward the future you deserve.
FAQs
What are examples of self-sabotaging behaviors?
Self-sabotaging behaviors can take many forms, like procrastinating on important tasks, overthinking decisions until it’s too late to act, or avoiding opportunities because they feel intimidating. Other examples include perfectionism, which can lead to delays or unfinished work, and negative self-talk, which undermines your confidence and progress. These patterns often feel minor at the moment but can significantly hold you back over time.
Can self-sabotage affect my career?
Self-sabotage can have a significant impact on your professional growth. It can lead to missed deadlines, strained relationships with colleagues, and lost opportunities for advancement. Behaviors like avoidance, procrastination, or perfectionism can frustrate colleagues, especially those who depend on you, ultimately damaging trust and teamwork. Over time, these patterns shape how others perceive your abilities and potential.
How do I stop self-sabotaging myself?
Start by recognizing the triggers and situations that lead to self-sabotaging actions. Replace self-doubt with constructive self-talk, set realistic goals, and take small, consistent steps to build momentum. Seek support from a trusted mentor or colleague to hold yourself accountable, and don’t hesitate to consult a professional, like a career coach, if these habits feel deeply ingrained.