Ever been in a meeting where someone shared way too much about their personal life? Or maybe you’ve worked with a manager who keeps everything so close to the chest that they seem almost robotic.
Finding the right balance when it comes to self-disclosure at work is tricky. Sharing the right amount can strengthen relationships, build trust, and create a healthier workplace culture. But oversharing at work? That can backfire—fast.
So, how do you handle the fine line between healthy personal disclosure and TMI territory? Let’s dive in.
What does “self-disclosure” mean?
In a work environment, self-disclosing refers to sharing personal experiences, thoughts, or emotions with colleagues. It can be as simple as mentioning your weekend plans or as deep as discussing a challenge you’re facing. The goal is to build authentic connections—but with boundaries.
What's the importance of self-disclosure at work?
Research shows that when employees form deeper connections at work, both individuals and teams benefit. Stronger bonds lead to better collaboration, increased engagement, and a more supportive work environment.
“We connect through vulnerability—it's basic psychology,” says Anand Mehta, a psychologist and director at AMFM. “Sharing builds trust because it reminds us of our shared humanity. People are more likely to collaborate openly when they feel a genuine connection.”
Self-disclosing is also one of the best examples of authenticity in the workplace. Sprinkling your personality on top of your day-to-day deliverables is a great move. However, it’s important to recognize that not all personal details belong in office conversations.
Examples of oversharing at work vs. self-disclosing
Wondering what’s considered just enough vs. way too much? Here’s a breakdown.
What is an example of inappropriate self-disclosure?
- Complaining about your messy divorce to your team during a project meeting
- Giving explicit details about a medical condition when a simple “I have a doctor’s appointment” would suffice
- Venting about work frustrations to people who aren’t in a position to help
What is an example of a personal disclosure?
- Mentioning a fun weekend activity in casual conversation
- Sharing that you’re taking a mental health day to set an example for well-being
- Talking about a challenge you overcame in a way that’s relevant to your work
How to find the balance between self-disclosure and oversharing at work
We present to you: the “professional relevance” rule. Share aspects of your life that foster connection without crossing into territory that might make others uncomfortable. Finding that middle ground takes practice, but here are some quick tips:
- Consider your audience. What’s appropriate to share with close colleagues might not be suited for a company-wide meeting.
- Keep it relevant. If your story has no impact on the conversation or work dynamic, it’s probably best left unsaid.
- Stay professional. Work isn’t therapy—if you need emotional support, it’s better to confide in a friend, mentor, or therapist outside the office.
- Read the room. If people look uncomfortable or disengaged, it’s a sign to pull back.
Bonus tip for leaders: How managers can be more open at work
If you’re in a leadership role and naturally more reserved, self-disclosure can feel unnecessary—or even uncomfortable. But it’s worth the effort of self-disclosing to make yourself feel more approachable and connected to your team.
Start small by sharing a personal challenge you overcame at work or a hobby you enjoy. “You don’t have to spill your deepest secrets, but giving your team a glimpse of who you are can make a big difference in how connected they feel to you,” Mehta says. “It’s about creating a safe space for others by showing that you are also safe.”
Here’s how to ease into it:
- Start small. Share light personal anecdotes—like a book you’re reading or a favorite vacation spot.
- Make it relevant. Talk about past professional challenges and how you overcame them to inspire your team.
- Be intentional. Aim for authenticity without forcing personal stories that don’t feel natural.
- Show vulnerability (without oversharing). Admitting you don’t have all the answers can make you more relatable without undermining your authority.
Is self-disclosure appropriate in a professional working relationship? Yes!
Self-disclosure at work is a powerful tool when done right. It can build relationships, improve workplace culture, and make the office feel a little less like…well, just work. Find that sweet spot where you’re open enough to connect, but professional enough to keep things on track. And if you ever find yourself mid-story wondering, “Should I really be sharing this?”—the answer is probably no.