Imposter syndrome can make even the most accomplished individuals question their abilities, doubting their place in spaces they’ve clearly earned. It’s that quiet self-doubt that convinces someone they’re not enough, despite a track record of success. More than just low self-esteem, imposter syndrome can have a significant impact on one’s life, relationships, and career, often holding people back from reaching their full potential.
If you’re wondering how to help someone with imposter syndrome—whether a family member, friend, or even your team member—this article will explore how you can play a key role in offering support and encouragement.
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What’s really behind imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is the persistent belief that one doesn’t belong, that they’re not “good enough,” and that it’s only a matter of time before they are “found out”—even when all evidence points to their success. What causes it? A mix of factors. Perfectionism, fear of failure, constant comparisons, social pressures, workplace dynamics, and even upbringing all play a role.
“Imposter syndrome can sometimes stem from cultural influences or past trauma,” says therapist Risa Williams, therapist and author of The Ultimate Self-Esteem Toolkit: 25 Tools to Boost Confidence, Achieve Goals and Find Happiness.
She notes that prolonged low self-esteem and chronic negative self-talk are often key contributors. “It’s common that clients I see for imposter syndrome also experienced a lot of criticism growing up, whether this was from their family, peers, or other adults around them,” Williams says.
This criticism often becomes internalized, evolving into a harsh inner voice that persists well into adulthood. “The things we say to ourselves on a daily basis are important because our brain is always listening,” she says. Negative self-talk can reinforce feelings of inadequacy and deepen imposter syndrome.
Recognizing imposter syndrome: What to look for
Ever hear someone say, “I just got lucky,” or “It wasn’t that big of a deal” when they’ve clearly done something amazing? That could be imposter syndrome talking. People often keep their doubts hidden, working harder or brushing off their successes to mask how they’re feeling. If you pay attention, some pretty clear signs might show they’re struggling to see their worth—even when it’s obvious to everyone else.
Here are a few things to watch for:
- Dismissing their success: They might say things like, “Anyone could have done that,” or insist their achievements are just luck.
- Chasing impossible perfection: They aim for sky-high goals and still feel like they’ve fallen short, no matter how much they achieve.
- Avoiding risks out of fear: They pass up new opportunities because they’re afraid of messing up or being “found out.”
- Pushing themselves to the edge: They work way too hard, trying to prove (to themselves or others) that they’re good enough.
- Struggling to take compliments: When complimented, they may deflect with comments like, “I was just doing my job” or “It’s no big deal.”
- Always comparing themselves: They constantly measure their worth against others and focus on what they think they’re missing instead of what they’ve got.
Ready to make a difference? Here’s how to help someone with imposter syndrome
You may not know how to help a friend with imposter syndrome, especially if it’s not something you struggle with yourself. But there are many simple and meaningful ways you can offer your support.
Show empathy (because they’re not alone)
People with imposter syndrome often feel isolated. Acknowledge their feelings with phrases like, “It’s normal to feel this way, but it doesn’t mean it’s true.” Simple validation can be powerful.
Help them focus on their wins
“Point out things they've done well, and how they're taking small steps forward on a regular basis,” Williams says. Encourage them to create a “success journal” where they document achievements, milestones, or positive feedback. Having a concrete list to revisit can combat feelings of self-doubt.
Give specific evidence to back the praise
“The feedback that leaders give can play a massive role in shaping how their team members view themselves,” says Sylvie di Giusto, a keynote speaker and leadership coach. “Without specific examples or measurable evidence to back up the praise, someone with imposter syndrome often spirals into questioning the sincerity or validity of the feedback.” Instead of saying, “You’re amazing,” highlight specific contributions: “Your idea for the client presentation brought clarity and won us their trust.”
Avoid unhelpful phrases
Human nature often drives us to want to help, but sometimes the words we choose, even with the best intentions, can unintentionally do more harm than good. di Giusto advises steering clear of phrases like, “You’re just overreacting,” “Fake it ’til you make it,” or “You just need to be more confident.” These remarks can feel dismissive and may deepen someone’s self-doubt instead of easing it.
Share your own experiences
“Imposter syndrome shows up in so many professionals, even those at the top of their game,” di Giusto says. In workplace dynamics, if you’re a CEO, leader, or mentor, sharing your own experiences with self-doubt can be incredibly impactful. Opening up about your challenges shows that imposter syndrome isn’t something they’re facing alone—it’s a common experience, even for those in high-level positions.
Show them the value of imperfection
Something went wrong? Well, that’s just life. Remind them that no one gets everything right every time—and that’s OK. Learning and growth often come from challenges and mistakes.
Examine the work environment
Are expectations too high? Is recognition lacking? If you’re in a leadership role, reflect on how workplace culture might contribute to their doubts—and adjust accordingly by setting realistic goals, providing regular positive feedback, and celebrating achievements through recognition programs.
Suggest learning opportunities
Share confidence-building workshops, online classes, or books to help with imposter syndrome. A simple, “This made me think of you,” can go a long way in encouraging them to explore resources that support personal and professional growth.
Highlight their impact on others
Sometimes, people don’t realize the positive impact they have on others. One powerful way to help is by highlighting what makes them unique—such as the values they uphold, the talents they naturally bring to their work, and the solutions only they can provide. Recognizing these strengths can help them see their true worth.
Encourage therapy if needed
If their self-doubt feels overwhelming, therapy can provide a safe space for growth. “A therapist can help you see your own strengths and affirm the positive progress you’re making over time,” Williams says. This guidance can help them shift self-critical thought patterns and focus on what they’re doing right.
Empowering confidence and self-worth
Helping someone overcome imposter syndrome isn’t about fixing them—it’s about empowering them to see their worth. With small, thoughtful actions and a genuine belief in their abilities, you can help them begin to see their strengths more clearly. Even small gestures, like listening, sharing meaningful feedback, or reminding them of their achievements, can have a lasting impact.
By showing them that their value isn’t tied to perfection and that their contributions matter, you’re helping them rebuild their confidence one step at a time. Your encouragement can be the turning point that helps them embrace their worth and step into their potential with pride.