When preparing for a job interview, there are a lot of questions you can expect to answer. Some are pretty straightforward, like “Tell me about yourself” or “What are your strengths and weaknesses?” But then there are those questions that really make you think. One of the trickier ones: “How do you deal with a difficult coworker?”
This question gets at how you handle conflict, communicate, and solve problems with others in the workplace. Here, we'll explore why recruiters ask the “difficult coworker” interview question, give you some practical tips on how to answer it, and highlight the key points that will make your response stand out.
What’s behind the “How do you deal with difficult coworkers?” interview question
Recruiters ask how you would handle a difficult coworker to assess several important qualities that are vital for success in a professional environment.
“They want to see if you can step back from conflict and handle it with emotional intelligence and maturity,” says Stephen Greet, co-founder and CEO of BeamJobs. “It’s less about the coworker and more about how you navigate difficult situations. This question also uncovers whether you focus on finding solutions or just shift blame.”
Here are some of the reasons behind the question:
- Assess conflict resolution skills: Recruiters want to understand whether you can stay calm under pressure and how you work through challenging situations without escalating tensions.
- Evaluate emotional intelligence: Recruiters look for signs of your emotional intelligence (EI)—including whether you can read the emotions of others, empathize, and respond in a way that fosters collaboration rather than division.
- Measure teamwork and collaboration: No matter how skilled you are, you will need to work with others. Even in the best teams, there can be personality clashes or differing opinions. This question assesses your capacity to work with diverse personalities and find common ground to achieve team goals.
- Identify leadership potential: Your approach to handling difficult coworkers shows how you might manage a team. Recruiters want to know whether you can lead with empathy and diplomacy, or whether you’ll contribute to workplace drama or division.
- Determine cultural fit: Recruiters use this question to assess if your approach aligns with the company’s culture and values. A candidate who responds thoughtfully may be seen as someone who could fit well into the organization and foster a positive environment.
How to answer “How do you deal with a difficult coworker?”
Handling the “difficult colleague” interview question well requires a mix of diplomacy, self-awareness, and problem-solving skills. If you are searching for a new job opportunity, you should be prepared to be asked this type of question.
Example #1: Acknowledge the challenge without being negative
Avoid getting too specific about the negative traits of a hypothetical difficult coworker. You want to focus on how you would manage the situation rather than dwelling on the negative characteristics of a colleague. Remember, recruiters are looking for solutions, not complaints.
Possible answer:
I understand that difficult situations can arise with coworkers from time to time. But I believe it’s important to approach these situations with an open mind and a commitment to finding a resolution. Everyone has their own working style, and it’s key to acknowledge those differences and find common ground.
Example #2: Use real-life examples (without badmouthing anyone)
If possible, provide examples from your past experiences where you’ve successfully handled difficult coworker situations. “Be real,” Greet says. “Instead of giving a polished, perfect answer, share a moment where things didn’t go smoothly but you took ownership. For example, describe how you misinterpreted a coworker’s intent, sought clarification, and found a resolution.”
Be sure not to name names or share sensitive details. Focus on how you handled the situation rather than the specifics of the individual involved.
Possible answer:
In a previous role, I worked with a colleague whose communication style was very different from mine. We often disagreed on how to approach projects. I took the initiative to speak with him privately and understand his approach. Through our discussion, we found a middle ground, and our collaboration improved significantly. It taught me the importance of being proactive and open to different working styles.
Example #3: Show your willingness to collaborate
Highlight your problem-solving skills and ability to engage in constructive dialogue. Show that you're proactive in finding solutions rather than shying away from difficult conversations.
Possible answer:
My first step would be to have an open and respectful conversation with my coworker. I’d try to understand their perspective and identify any potential misunderstandings or miscommunications. I’ve found that sometimes, a simple conversation can resolve tensions and allow both parties to understand each other better.
Example #4: Focus on your communication skills
Effective communication is the backbone of any healthy workplace relationship. Emphasize your ability to communicate clearly, listen actively, and seek to understand. Being able to adjust your communication style depending on the situation is also important.
Possible answer:
Good communication is crucial when dealing with a difficult coworker. I would make an effort to clearly communicate my expectations and listen to theirs. If we are still unable to resolve the issue through direct communication, I would look for opportunities to involve a manager or HR to mediate the situation and ensure a fair resolution.
Example #5: Demonstrate conflict resolution strategies
Explain the specific methods you use to address conflict. Whether you rely on a structured conflict resolution model or adapt to the situation at hand, sharing your approach to resolving disagreements can provide insight into your problem-solving and communication skills.
Possible answer:
I always try to approach conflicts by focusing on the issue at hand, rather than making it personal. I like to use a solution-oriented approach where I focus on identifying the root cause of the problem, whether it’s workload management, personality differences, or communication gaps. Once we identify the cause, we can work on finding a mutually agreeable solution.
Example #6: Highlight the importance of maintaining professionalism
No matter how difficult a coworker may be, maintaining professionalism is essential. Your answer to the “How do you deal with a difficult colleague?” interview question should reflect your ability to remain calm, professional, and composed, even in stressful situations.
Possible answer:
I believe it’s important to stay calm and professional at all times, even in challenging situations. I would keep the conversation respectful and avoid reacting emotionally. This helps maintain a positive work environment, even if the person is difficult to work with.
Example #7: Show empathy and understanding
It’s important to demonstrate empathy when answering the question. Show that you understand that difficult coworkers may have their own challenges or stressors that affect their behavior.
Possible answer:
I recognize that sometimes difficult behavior stems from personal stress or challenges. I would try to approach the situation with empathy and patience, understanding that there may be underlying factors contributing to their actions. I’ve found that offering support or suggesting resources like stress management programs can sometimes help alleviate tensions.
Example #8: Present a solution-focused approach
Keep your answer positive and solution-focused. Avoid speaking negatively about coworkers or describing situations in which you weren’t able to resolve conflict. Focus on how you can improve relationships and create a more harmonious work environment.
Possible answer:
I believe in focusing on solutions, not problems. If a coworker and I aren’t seeing eye to eye, I’d focus on finding a constructive way to move forward. Whether it’s working with a team leader or setting up regular check-ins to monitor progress, I am committed to working collaboratively toward a positive outcome.
What to avoid when answering this question
When answering the “How to deal with difficult coworkers” interview question, there are several things you should avoid to ensure that your response reflects professionalism.
“Saying, ‘I just ignored it and kept doing my job’ or ‘They were impossible to work with’ won’t impress anyone,” Greet says. “It’s equally unhelpful to dodge the question with, ‘I’ve never had a difficult coworker.’ Remember, everyone has had challenges, what matters is how you faced them.”
Don’t be overly negative or critical
While it’s important to acknowledge that challenges exist, you should never speak ill of others or criticize a hypothetical coworker in a negative light. Doing so can give the impression that you're not a team player or that you easily blame others for issues in the workplace.
Don’t blame the coworker
It might be tempting to point the finger at the coworker when discussing a difficult situation, but recruiters want to see that you take responsibility for your part in resolving issues. A response that solely blames the other person could make you appear inflexible or unwilling to reflect on your own actions.
Don’t give generic or vague answers
A vague response that doesn't provide concrete examples or a clear course of action won’t make a strong impression. Recruiters want to hear specific strategies and techniques you would use to handle difficult situations, not just generalities.
Don’t be defensive or confrontational
This is a chance to showcase your diplomacy and communication skills. If your response sounds defensive or overly confrontational, like saying “I always confront issues head-on,” it might make you seem difficult to work with. Avoid sounding like you're ready to escalate or engage in a verbal battle.
Don’t overshare personal details
While it’s helpful to use examples from your past experience, avoid oversharing personal or overly specific details about past conflicts with coworkers. Keep your response focused on how you handled the situation professionally, without going into too much personal information.
Don’t be unwilling to compromise
A key aspect of resolving conflict is finding a middle ground and being open to compromise. If your answer suggests you’re unwilling to adjust or work with others, it could raise concerns about your ability to collaborate.
Don’t over-apologize
While you should answer the question honestly, there’s no need to be overly apologetic. If you apologize too much, it might give the impression that you’re unsure or lack confidence in your conflict-resolution skills.
Don’t focus too much on the past or old grudges
If you use this question to vent about a past coworker or job, it may seem like you're still harboring unresolved issues. Avoid bringing negative energy from the past into your answer. Focus instead on what you would do to prevent or resolve conflicts in a future situation.
Bonus tips to improve your response
- Be mindful of body language. Your body language can convey just as much as your words. Ensure that you appear open, confident, and engaged during the interview. Avoid crossing your arms or appearing closed off.
- Tailor your answer to the company culture. Research the company’s values and work culture. Tailor your answer to show that your approach to conflict resolution aligns with the company’s expectations. For instance, if the company emphasizes teamwork and collaboration, highlight those aspects in your response.
- Stay calm under pressure. Interviewers may try to gauge how you handle pressure through difficult questions. Keep your response calm and composed, even if the question itself feels stressful.
- Prepare for follow-up questions. After you’ve answered, be ready for follow-up questions. They may ask you for examples or further details about a particular scenario. Think about situations in which you've navigated difficult relationships at work and be ready to share specific outcomes.
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