Talking about anything personal at work can be tricky. When it comes to mental health, it may feel impossible. You might worry about stigma, discrimination, or being seen as a liability by your boss.
Are you putting a scarlet-like letter on yourself? Are you setting yourself up for failure in the form of not getting the big project or the promotion? Worrisome thoughts can bounce around your head—which we don’t have to tell you is not great for your mental wellbeing.
Of course, being discriminated against because of any kind of mental health issue is illegal (more on this below), but that doesn’t mean that your concerns aren’t valid. Regardless, if your mental health is affecting your job—or your job is impacting your mental health—it’s time to address it.
To help you navigate this conversation, we spoke with Melody Wilding, a Muse career coach and licensed social worker, who shared her best advice on how to tell your boss you're struggling mentally.
When to talk about mental health at work
At what point do you reveal your mental health struggles to your boss? Wilding says that there is no “single ‘right’ answer.” What you decide to do varies “depending on the individual’s conditions, symptoms, and comfort level in addition to the dynamics and culture of the workplace.”
It stands to reason that because mental health issues are such delicate ones, “disclosure is a very personal decision,” she says. If you’re getting by OK, and your work isn’t suffering, you may not feel comfortable making a big announcement that essentially reveals your medical history.
But, if the state of your mental health is starting to interfere with your work and your ability to, well, do your job, Wilding says you’ll want to speak with your boss, “especially if you’re in need of accommodations or are going to need time off.”
If you simply go in asking for time off due to a personal issue or emergency, know that you may be asked about the nature of your condition—by which point, you’ll probably have to disclose more information, though this doesn’t mean you have to read your medical chart to anyone.
Read this next: The Right Way to Ask Your Boss for Time Off
How to tell your boss you're struggling mentally
Now that we've discussed the when, let's figure out how you can approach your boss to talk about your mental health struggles.
Pick the right person
If your relationship with your boss is good, if you communicate often, and if you trust them, sharing your situation with them directly will likely be a lot easier. But if you and your boss have poor communication, you might consider paying a visit to the HR department first. Oftentimes, these individuals are better trained and equipped to assist in these complicated areas.
Pick the right moment
If possible, avoid having the conversation in the middle of a crisis or episode. “[If you're] in the thick of a depressive episode, for example, it might be best to wait until you’re in a better place so you have the energy and can appropriately bring yourself to have the best conversation with your employer,” Wilding says.
Plan what you're going to say
Don't simply blurt out the information. You should plan your conversation with your boss, scripting what you’re going to say. If you're working with a mental health professional, consider discussing or rehearsing the conversation with them, if this would make you feel more confident and at ease.
If you fear your boss might worry about your performance at work, try to “reframe the situation as an opportunity,” Wilding says. This is when being ready with a list of things you’ve been excelling at and your strengths can come in handy.
Don't get into too many details
It's possible to talk about your mental health at work and still maintain some privacy. You only need to reveal as much as you’re comfortable with. You do not need to go into a lengthy explanation of your family’s history with bipolar disorder, nor do you need to give a run-down of all of your panic attacks.
For example, if you have ADHD but this isn’t something you want to state as such, you might consider telling your supervisor that “you have issues with concentration that affect your ability to work,” Wilding says. It’s also appropriate to reveal that you have a medical issue or condition without actually mentioning your diagnosis by name, she adds.
Know the law and your rights
Above all, as awkward as the discussion may feel, go into it knowing that you are protected. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)—which your HR department should be familiar with—“prohibits discrimination against persons with disabilities in employment.” The ADA’s definition of disability includes mental impairments, specifically “a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities.”
In this context, a “mental impairment” could be a psychiatric or mental disability or mental illness. That means that, depending on the nature and severity of your condition, you have rights and your employer should not act against you because of it.
The law allows for qualified people to be accommodated to a reasonable extent. “Depending on the nature of the impairment, a person may be eligible for accommodations such as a flexible schedule or work from home,” Wilding says. It's important to note that under the ADA, a reasonable accommodation should provide equal—not superior—employment and access to benefits available to all employees.
Under the ADA, the information you reveal must be kept confidential. However, your employer can reach out to government resources like the Job Accommodation Network (JAN)—a confidential service from the Office of Disability Employment Policy—to explore accommodation solutions, for example.
Note: The ADA is not enforceable if your condition doesn’t meet the definition of disability. Therefore, if you need accommodations to perform your job, it’s important to consult with a licensed mental health professional (e.g., a psychiatrist) to obtain the proper diagnosis and documentation. For further guidance, refer to the ADA brief on mental health.
Don't feel alone or ashamed
While it’s easier said than done, you shouldn’t be ashamed of your mental health issues at all, or let them prevent you from going after the job you want or the career you deserve. Also, remember that you’re not alone in this. According to 2022 data from the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health, 59.3 million of U.S. adults live with a mental illness.
FAQs
How to ask your boss for a mental health day?
First and foremost, check your company’s policy on paid time off (PTO). If mental health days are offered and encouraged, you can be upfront with your boss and request the time off in a professional manner. For example, you could say, “I'm feeling overwhelmed and would like to take a mental health day to recharge.” If this type of conversation isn’t welcomed in your workplace, you can request the time off to handle a personal matter, for example.
Read this next: How to Take a Mental Health Day (and What to Do to Feel Better)
“Should I tell my boss I'm struggling mentally?”
Yes, if your struggles are impacting your performance at work, if you need time off to take care of yourself, and if you feel your boss will respond empathetically. If you're unsure, consider talking to HR first. You should also check if your mental health issue qualifies as a disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act, which protects individuals with disabilities from discrimination in employment.
“Can my boss tell other employees about my mental health?”
They shouldn’t—especially if your mental health issue is covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act, which mandates confidentiality, or if you don’t need accommodations that would directly affect your coworkers. If private medical information is disclosed without your consent, consult with an employment attorney for guidance.
Should you mention mental health in an interview?
If your mental health issue is mostly under control and unlikely to affect your daily work, you don’t need to disclose it during the hiring process. However, if you struggle to keep it under control, waiting until you’ve accepted the offer and then dropping the ball on a major assignment due to your condition probably isn’t the best approach.
Instead, “you may need to be very up front and disclose during the interview process,” Wilding says. For example, let’s say you have ADHD, and typical office noise severely affects your ability to concentrate. If using noise-canceling headphones is the only way you can stay focused, this is something you may want—or need—to mention in an interview, especially if you're applying for an in-office position.
You’ll want to frame and put it in context, so that’s not the thing the interviewer is remembering about you. It’s also a good idea to mention that you’re actively in treatment and taking the right steps to manage your condition. If you’re a part of a support group, it can be a good idea to speak to others about how they’ve approached this delicate situation.
Editor’s Note: This article is for general informational purposes only. It is not medical advice and should not be used to make a diagnosis or treat a condition. If your mental health is suffering, please consult with a medical specialist.
Amanda Cardoso contributed to the latest version of this article.