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Advice / Succeeding at Work / Work Relationships

From Assertive to Passive-Aggressive: Understanding Communication Styles in the Workplace

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Imagine a meeting where everyone has the same goal, but the conversation feels like it’s going in circles. One person dominates the discussion, another hesitates to speak up, and yet another waits until later to send an email with their thoughts. Sound familiar? These differences are not just quirks—they're different communication styles at play.

Whether you’re leading a team or working with colleagues, understanding your own communication style—and others’—can help strengthen relationships, clear up misunderstandings, and make everything run more smoothly.

In this article, we’ll explore the main styles of communication and how they shape interactions in the workplace.

4 communication styles in the workplace

The four main types of communication styles—assertive, passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive—play a key role in shaping workplace interactions.

Below we’ll explore each style, sharing practical tips and examples to help you improve your communication skills.

1. Assertive communication

Assertive communication is all about being clear, honest, and respectful when expressing your thoughts and feelings. People who communicate assertively know how to speak up for themselves without being too pushy or passive. They express their opinions directly, but they also listen and consider what others have to say.

This style helps build trust, reduce misunderstandings, and foster more productive conversations at work. On the flip side, assertive individuals may come across as overly firm to those with a more passive communication style.

Common phrases:

  • I believe this is the best approach. What do you think?
  • Let’s work together to find a solution that works for everyone.
  • I feel this isn’t working as intended. Let’s adjust the plan.

Is this your communication style? Try these tips to make the most of it:

  • Practice active listening. Even if you’re confident, allow others the space to share their thoughts fully.
  • Adapt to quieter colleagues. Be mindful that more passive communicators may feel intimidated. Use softer tones or ask specific questions to encourage input.
  • Use “I” statements intentionally. This means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs from your own perspective, such as saying “I think” or “I feel,” instead of placing blame or speaking for others. (While they’re effective, ensure you don’t overuse them to the point of appearing self-centered.)
  • Learn to pick your battles. Not every situation requires asserting your point. Choose when to step back to let others take the lead.

Communicating with assertive types? Here’s what works best:

  • Be concise and direct. Assertive communicators appreciate clarity. Avoid vague language or beating around the bush.
  • Acknowledge their points. Recognize their efforts and suggestions to build rapport and make them more open to your input.
  • Stand your ground respectfully. Assertive individuals respect confidence. Share your perspectives without hesitation, even if they differ from theirs.
  • Propose collaborative solutions. Engage them by framing your ideas as a joint effort, which aligns with their value of teamwork.
  • Clarify expectations early. Ask for clear directions or boundaries to avoid miscommunication and ensure alignment.

2. Passive communication

A passive communication style is when someone tends to avoid expressing their thoughts, feelings, or needs directly. Instead of speaking up, they often go along with what others say to avoid conflict, even if it means sacrificing what they truly want. This often comes from a desire to keep the peace or a fear of confrontation.

While passive communicators are typically seen as easygoing and agreeable, they can harbor feelings of frustration or resentment because they’re suppressing their true feelings. In a workplace, this communication style can lead to missed opportunities for collaboration or a lack of clarity in expectations.

Common phrases:

  • I’m fine with whatever you decide.
  • It’s not a big deal, really.
  • I’ll just go along with the group.

Is this your communication style? Try these tips to make the most of it:

  • Start with small steps. Practice expressing your opinions in low-stakes settings, like casual team discussions, to build confidence.
  • Use “I” statements. Replace vague language with specific phrases like “I think” or “I feel” to assert your thoughts.
  • Set personal boundaries. Learn to say “no” when necessary, especially if a task overburdens you or doesn’t align with your goals.
  • Prepare for key conversations. Write down what you want to say before important discussions to overcome hesitation.
  • Seek a mentor or ally. Find a colleague or mentor who can support you in speaking up during meetings or projects.
  • Recognize your value. Reflect on your contributions and remind yourself that your input is just as important as anyone else’s.

Communicating with passive types? Here’s what works best:

  • Encourage their input directly. Ask open-ended questions like “What’s your perspective on this?” or “How do you feel about this approach?”
  • Create a safe environment. Show them their opinions matter by actively listening and avoiding judgment when they share.
  • Don’t assume silence means agreement. Follow up with clarifying questions to ensure they’re genuinely on board.
  • Offer choices, not directives. Present options to help them feel involved in decisions rather than imposing solutions.
  • Provide positive reinforcement. Acknowledge when they share their thoughts or set boundaries, encouraging them to do so more often.
  • Be patient. Understand that a passive communicator may take time to feel comfortable expressing themselves.

3. Aggressive communication

Imagine a team meeting where one person constantly interrupts, talking over everyone and raising their voice to make sure their point is heard. This is aggressive communication. It’s when someone speaks or acts in a way that’s confrontational or demanding and often disregards others’ feelings or input.

They tend to dominate the conversation, and while they may seem confident, it can leave people feeling shut down or dismissed. What starts as a strong point can quickly turn into a barrier between coworkers, making collaboration harder.

Common phrases:

  • This is the only way to do it.
  • You need to fix this immediately.
  • Why isn’t this done yet?

Is this your communication style? Try these tips to make the most of it:

  • Pause before speaking. Practice taking a breath or counting to three before responding to avoid impulsive or harsh reactions.
  • Focus on collaboration. Shift your mindset from “winning” to finding solutions that benefit the team.
  • Reframe your tone. Deliver direct feedback in a calm, neutral tone to make your points without intimidating others.
  • Practice empathy. Make a conscious effort to understand the emotions and needs of others in conversations.
  • Ask instead of command. Replace directives with collaborative questions like, “How can we address this together?”
  • Seek feedback on your style. Ask trusted colleagues how your communication affects them and use their input to adjust your approach.

Communicating with aggressive types? Here’s what works best:

  • Stay calm and composed. Avoid matching their energy or tone, as this can escalate the situation.
  • Stand your ground assertively. Clearly state your perspective or boundaries without becoming confrontational.
  • Redirect their focus. Steer the conversation toward shared goals or solutions instead of allowing it to become personal.
  • Acknowledge their points strategically. Show that you’ve heard their concerns, which can de-escalate tension, even if you disagree.
  • Set boundaries. Be clear about what behavior is acceptable and address it professionally if they cross the line.
  • Don’t take it personally. Recognize that their communication style reflects their approach to challenges, not necessarily a personal attack.

4. Passive-aggressive communication

You’ve probably dealt with someone who seems to agree with you, but their actions or follow-up comments tell a different story. That’s passive-aggressive communication. It's when someone hides their true feelings or frustration behind indirect comments or behavior, instead of being upfront.

It’s a style that often leaves others confused, as it’s unclear whether the person is genuinely on board or just pretending. This kind of communication can create tension at work, since the real issue is never fully addressed.

“Passive-aggressive style undermines trust and creates ambiguity, making conflict resolution and decision-making nearly impossible,” says Dr. Nick Bach, a psychologist specialized in workplace communication, leadership and team dynamics.

Common phrases:

  • Sure, I’ll handle it… not like I have anything else to do.
  • No, it’s fine. Really, don’t worry about me.
  • I thought this was already obvious.

Is this your communication style? Try these tips to make the most of it:

  • Identify the root cause of frustration. Reflect on what’s bothering you and why you’re avoiding direct communication.
  • Practice direct communication. Use clear, honest language to express your concerns without sarcasm.
  • Focus on solutions, not blame. Shift your mindset from venting frustrations to working toward resolutions.
  • Address issues early. Don’t let small annoyances fester into passive-aggressive behavior. Speak up as soon as possible.
  • Seek feedback from trusted colleagues. Ask for input on how your behavior is perceived and use it to improve your communication.
  • Learn to say “no” respectfully. If you feel overloaded or undervalued, set boundaries instead of using resentment to push back.

Communicating with passive-aggressive types? Here’s what works best:

  • Call out behavior gently but directly. For example, say, “I sense there might be an issue. Can we talk about it?”
  • Encourage open dialogue. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable expressing their frustrations without fear of judgment.
  • Don’t engage with sarcasm. Respond to their words neutrally rather than reacting emotionally or defensively.
  • Ask clarifying questions. Statements like “What do you mean by that?” can help uncover the real issue behind their comments.
  • Stay patient and professional. Understand that passive-aggressive behavior often stems from discomfort with confrontation.
  • Model direct communication. Demonstrate how to express concerns constructively, setting an example for healthier interactions.

How to develop your communication styles at the workplace?

Look out for signs that your communication may not be clear or could be causing misunderstandings in the workplace. “If it’s hard to get your point across or connect with others, it might be time to tweak your style,” says Brendan Brown, communication specialist and founder of Global English Editing. The good news is, he says, “these are learned behaviors, not fixed traits, and they can be improved.”

Improving your communication style at work involves intentional steps to become more self-aware, adaptable, and effective. Here are practical strategies to help you develop:

Start with self-awareness

Reflect on how you express yourself and evaluate how it affects your interactions with colleagues. “Pay attention to how your communication is received and take note of patterns,” Brown says. Identifying these habits can reveal what’s effective and what might need adjustment.

Practice active listening

Pay attention to not just what is being said but also how it is said. This includes understanding non-verbal cues, asking clarifying questions, and showing genuine interest in others’ perspectives.

Seek feedback from colleagues

Feedback offers valuable insights into how others perceive your communication style, helping you identify areas for growth and improvement. “Ask colleagues or managers for feedback to understand how you could adjust your approach and make conversations more productive and meaningful,” Brown says. (Here’s how.)

Develop your assertiveness skills

Focus on expressing your thoughts clearly and respectfully while considering others’ perspectives. Assertive communication can help you navigate conflicts, build trust, and foster collaboration. For a little extra guidance, here’s how to practice your assertiveness skills.

Try different communication styles

Learn to recognize and adjust to how others communicate. This flexibility can prevent misunderstandings and make interactions more effective.

Be mindful of your tone and body language

Ensure that your tone and nonverbal cues match your message. Remember, positive body language, such as maintaining eye contact and using open gestures, reinforces your words.

Participate in workshops or training sessions

Engaging in communication skills workshops or training can provide valuable tools and techniques to improve how you interact professionally. These sessions often offer practical exercises and personalized feedback.

Bottom line

Your communication style can either strengthen or hinder your workplace relationships. Understanding different communication styles doesn’t just help you refine your own—it also fosters empathy for how others express themselves.

This awareness can make it easier to navigate challenging interactions and even support colleagues in improving their communication. With constructive feedback and a growth mindset, you can build stronger connections and contribute to a more collaborative workplace.

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